Saturday, April 25, 2015

Logan Craig Jacobs - Birth Story

I decided I wanted to write down our little guy's birth story before it got to late and I forgot most of it! Ha. Let me start with a little background. I had an appointment when I was 40 weeks and 3 days late. I had to go to the appointment alone because Alex was at his clinical for school. When I got there, they did a regular check up and said I was barley dilated to a 1. I asked her to do a slight sweep of my membranes to hopefully start labor. She did and then said that after you are 40 weeks you need to be put on the stress test monitor just to make sure everything is okay. I was on it for about a half hour and the Dr. came back in the check the results. As she looked at it all she said was "hmmm..." and "ohhhh...." so of course I start to panic. She stated that the baby doesn't seem to be in distress, but that he's not 100% of where he should be either. She stated that after 40 weeks your placenta starts to deteriorate and there really is no benefit of keeping me pregnant. She stated that at this point they just need to get him out and were going to start induction. I was SO upset. I did NOT want to be induced and to top it off - I was alone! Alex wasn't even with me. I begged and pleaded that if I had to be induced to please let me go home and get my stuff, get my husband!! She said no and that I had to go straight upstairs to Labor & Delivery. She left the room and I was a complete wreck. I immediately called Alex and told him through my tears everything that happened. He had someone from our ward go pick him up from his clinical, bring him home to finish packing the hospital bag and then get up to me. In the meantime, I headed upstairs to L&D. I hadn't eaten lunch because I thought I was going for a quick check up and then coming home. When I got up there, they gave me some orange juice to drink. I was put back on the stress test monitor and left alone. I bawled the entire time. I couldn't believe this is how I was going to have to have my baby and my husband wasn't even with me yet. The Dr. came back in about an hour later and looked at the stress test again. She said that actually everything looked perfect and the baby looked great. She said it was up to me whether or not I wanted to still be induced that day and have the baby. I told her no, I wanted to go into labor on my own and asked if I could please go home. She looked over some more things and stated that I would be free to go. As soon as I got the clearing, Alex walked into the hospital. The Dr. talked to both of us and stated again that she really doesn't see a benefit of me staying pregnant and that I need to just get this baby out. She stated that if I hadn't gone into labor on my own by the next day I would have to come in an be induced.

We went home and I was a complete wreck, I wanted to have my baby on my own time and not force him out. I didn't even really understand why I was having to be induced and just prayed I would go into labor on my own that night. As soon as we got home we went on a really long walk, I walked up and down the stairs for over an hour, we had a dance party, I ate some spicy food - ha! Absolutely NOTHING worked. I was heartbroken when we were headed back up the hospital the next day. We went to see the Dr. first and it was a different one then I had met with the day before. I explained all my frustrations to him and told him I didn't want to be induced and felt like I had no idea why I was being forced to do it. He stated that they would put me on the monitor again and see, but if the baby looked good and everything essentially it was my choice and if I don't want to be induced, I don't have to be. Everything looked great on the monitor that day and he cleared me to go home (again. talk about a roller coaster of emotions!!!) He set up an appointment for me the following Monday. He stated if I still hadn't gone into labor on my own by that day - then I will have to schedule an induction date because I'll be over 41 weeks. The rest of the week we did EVERYTHING under the sun to try to make him come...still nothing. I had small contractions that were about 10 minutes apart, but weren't getting any closer or stronger.

I went to my appointment on Monday alone again because Alex wasn't able to get off the time from his clinical. I had to get an ultrasound done because they have to check your fluid levels once you are over 41 weeks. I met with the Dr. and he put me on the monitor again. He came in about an hour later and said the baby looked great on the monitor HOWEVER...oh no...It looked like my fluid levels were higher than they should be and that the fluid wasn't clear. He said they think the baby had a bowel movement inside and the fact that my placenta is continuing to deteriorate just isn't safe anymore. We really just need to get him out. I begged and begged to please let me go home and get my stuff and again, get my husband! I think he must have been able to tell how stressed I was about everything because he agreed to let me go home and get everything, but I had to be back in an hour and a half. I was getting ready to head out around 5:00pm and had him do a quick check on me. He said I was barley dilated to a 2, which was progress from the week before, but still not much. I asked him to sweep my membranes again and he did it a couple times just to make sure he really got it (holy cow, did that hurt!! :/ ) The Dr. said that to start the induction they were going to use the balloon method. Basically, they stick a balloon up in your cervix and blow it up to get it to dilate. They leave it in for 12 hours and said I should be to about a 4 or 5 after the 12 hours, at the point they would start me on pitocin and then break my water and hope my body goes from there. He said when you do the balloon you can still eat and everything, so they would feed me in the hospital as soon as I got there, I just needed to hurry back. I was pretty bummed about everything, basically all of my worst labor fears coming to life! Ha. I was very opinionated about not wanted to be induced, absolutely no pitocin and having my water break on its own......but I knew it was time to get him out.

I called Alex and he headed home from his clinical, it was for reals this time! We got our hospital bag together and feed our kitty, we grabbed everything we could and headed back up to the hospital. About half way there I started to get a really bad cramp. Then it went away...and came back about a minute later, all the sudden it was more than a really bad cramp, I couldn't breathe. And they were coming fast! I told Alex to speed up and I think this was for reals this time. He started to laugh and said "well hey, this is how I actually pictured of drive to the hospital!" I didn't think it was too funny! Ha, and told him to seriously drive faster!!! We got to the hospital around 7:00PM and they got me all checked in. I told the nurses what was going on and that I needed to get the balloon in to start my induction. She said that she was just going to check me really quick to see what I was dilated to. I told her I was just checked by my Dr. about 2 hours ago and was at a tight 2. She said she would see just in case. She checked me and said " are dilated to a 4. You are in full on labor girly!" I was thrilled! She said that they don't have to do the balloon and that they needed to get the IV in me. I asked if I could have dinner first because the Dr. told me I could eat as soon as I got there. My two nurses kind of laughed and said ", you are in labor now we need to get you going" Dang!! Granted I wasn't starving because I felt kind of nauseous out of nervousness, but still! The last thing I ate was lunch on Monday.

They got the IV in me and then hooked me up the stress monitor to track the baby's heart rate and my contractions. They continued to get closer and stronger. The nurse said I was having them about every 30 seconds to 1 minute. I had Alex turn on some relaxation cd's, that helped for a little bit - but then the pain got too intense. I had the nurses come in again about an hour and a half later and she said I was dilated to a 7. I knew that I wanted to get an epidural but wanted to wait until I was dilated until at least a 5. When I found out I was a 7 Alex and I talked about whether or not I should get it. I told him I was still feeling like I could handle the pain, so maybe I won't get one. I continued to wait and it got more and more intense. I would use low tone moans to get through a contraction and squeeze the bed sheets and handles. The nurse got me a ball and I tried to bounce on that to ease the pain. I also walked around my room a lot and went on my hand and knees in the bed. The pain was the most intense thing I have ever experienced. Alex said the hardest part of the entire delivery was watching how in pain I was and knowing there was nothing he could do about it. I had the nurses come in again about an hour later and she said I was dilated to an 8, almost 9. She said that she could feel my bag of water and it was bulging. She said that it was probably making me a little more dilated than I actually was because it was so big.

She asked if I wanted an epidural still and I didn't know....I felt like I had already made it so far, if I could just make it to a 10 and push then maybe I wouldn't have to have one. As I was trying to decide, I got another contraction......and then I decided YES, I need that epidural!! Ha. I was already so exhausted and needed some relief. They called the anesthesiologist and said he should be there in about 20-30 minutes. ONE hour later, he finally made it. Probably the longest hour of my life. I thought I was going to die. He got there around 11:15pm and was explaining to me everything he was going to do. I honestly don't remember anything he said because all I could think was "okay, enough, just get it in me!!" I felt a little shot in the back, but nothing major. By far the worst part was the fact that I had to hold perfectly still while he did it, even during my contractions. My body had been shaking uncontrollably for the past few hours and I didn't know how in the world I was supposed to hold still. I had one of my nurses in front of me and hugged her like a teddy bear (I think I about ripped her jacket apart!) Ha. Alex was in front me too - but barley conscious. He said he was SO lightheaded and queasy while he talked about what he was going to do to me. Ha! Thank goodness I had the nurse there too. ;) As soon as he put it in me I could feel my legs start to get warm and then some slight relief. The longer I went the less I could feel. Each contraction just felt like a lot of pressure, but NOTHING compared to what it was, so I was in heaven!

About 12:30am I called in the nurse because I thought maybe my water had broken. She checked and said " doesn't quite seem like that, did you just have to go to the bathroom? Maybe you just wet yourself." I felt so embarrassed!! Ha. About 2 seconds after she said that I felt something again and said "um.....I don't think I have to go the bathroom...." She squealed and said "oh okay, now that is definitely your water!" she called in the other nurse and got me cleaned up the best they could. She checked me again after my water broke and said that I was dilated back to about an 8. They left and I continued to just feel pressure pains. About 1:30am they came in and checked me again. She was shocked and said I was fully dilated - I was already to a 10! But, the baby was still so high up. She said she would call the Dr. and see what he wants to do. She came back in and asked if I would be okay just hanging out and waiting to see if the baby comes down on his own. I told her that was fine with me because I was hardly feeling anything. They realized that they baby's heart rate didn't my blood pressure after I got the epidural, so I had to be put on oxygen. Alex slept and I attempted to relax...between the pressure pains, oxygen mask and my blood pressure being checked every 5 minutes, I didn't get much rest! Ha. Have you ever been on oxygen before? It was awful! It felt like it was sucking the life out of me! I know that sounds crazy, but I wasn't able to eat or drink and my mouth and throat felt soooo dry and I couldn't do anything about it! Around 3:30am Alex woke up and asked what we were doing. I told him I actually I had no clue because we hadn't been checked on for awhile. I called my nurses in and asked if I was still just waiting or what was going on. They checked me and said that I was already at a +1 so the baby was dropping down! (You are at a +3 basically when the baby is coming, so I was making progress!) My nurses were so excited and talked about how I will definitely have this baby before their shift ends at 7:00am! They said they would come check on me again in a little bit.

We continued to wait. I watched tv and tried to find ways to pass the time. Around 5:30am the nurses came back in and checked me again. She said I was still only at a +1 and couldn't believe he hadn't dropped down more....she said she would call the Dr. and decide what to do. She came back in around 6:00am and checked me and said all the sudden I was at a +2 and ready to start trying to push. They called the doctor and told him to come in. They started getting everything prepared and what not and then had me start pushing just before 6:30am. I did a couple of pushes and then the nurses said they felt the baby ride back up. She checked me again and said I was back a +1. She had me push and push and push, she said she could feel him come down each push but as soon as the contraction ended, he would ride right back up. I started to feel pretty discouraged and frustrated. I was getting pretty exhausted at this point, but knew I couldn't give up yet. The Dr. came in and said that first time Mom's usually push for awhile, so to keep trying for a little bit. My nurses I had been with the whole time had their shift end and I was heart broken. They were the ones who knew what was going on and I wanted them to be with me! But, I got two new nurses, that were actually just as awesome - which I was so grateful for!

It was the same thing over and over again. I would push and push, baby would come down and as soon as I stopped he would ride back up. I didn't know what else to do. They said it was because the baby was stuck on my pelvic bone and he is just too big for my body. The Dr. came in again around 8:10am and checked me. He said I was pushing right where I should and that he was just not moving. The baby wasn't able to get past my pelvic bone. He asked how I felt about continuing to push or getting a c-section. I did NOT want a c-section, especially when I had made it this far!! I told him I would like to continue to try pushing (even though I felt more exhausted than I ever had in my life and didn't know where I was going to find the energy). I asked for another hour or hour and a half. He looked at the clocked and told me I could have until 9:00am. My nurses were very determined to make sure I could have this baby on my own - no c-section! They asked how I was feeling and wondered if I could get on another position besides my back. I had felt my epidural slowly start wearing off before hand, but didn't think much about it because I was in so much pain with everything anyways. I realized that it was pretty much gone and I could move my legs around. They had me go on my hands and knees and push for awhile. They also got a squat bar that I used for awhile. I continued switching back and forth between these two positions. The nurses said they could definitely tell that was helping because it was opening my pelvic bone more. I could feel every single contraction, pain and push, but I know that it was a blessing in disguise because if my epidural wouldn't have worn off I could have never gotten in those positions.

I continued switching back and forth, back and forth. I laid on my back for one last push and heard them say "That was it! You did it! He made it over you pelvic bone!!" I looked at the clock and it was 8:55am - just in time!!! They called the Dr. and told him to hurry up here. My nurses were prancing around and saying "You did it girl! This Dr. thinks he's coming in to get you for a c-section, but NO, you did it on your own.You showed him! Yes, yes, yes!!" They were awesome.

The Dr. came in and I honestly don't remember much - my eyes were closed the entire time and I just kept hearing push, push, push. They would count down for me which really helped and made it go faster. I heard Alex by my head saying "You got this! You are amazing! Keep going! I love you so much!" The nurses wanted me to feel "motivated" so she took my hand and placed it down so I could feel his head coming out - that freaked the crap out of me! Haha!! They made Alex do the same thing and I'm pretty sure he had similar feelings! I could hear them say "You're almost there, one more, one more." All the sudden I felt a little pop, then felt my body rip and all the sudden a baby was on me crying. I immediately started bawling and hyperventilating because I didn't know what to do! Ha. I finally saw my precious baby boy. I looked over at Alex and he was in tears. They had Alex cut the cord and the Dr. had me give one final push for the placenta.

The doctor's said my fluids were clear and the baby looked great. They took him to weigh him and wipe him down more while I got stitched up. O.M.G. That was awful. Keep in mind that my epidural had worn off and I felt every single stitch. I opened my eyes once and saw a giant fishhook thing and string and immediately shut my eyes. It took him about 15-20 minutes to finish up and I thought could have died. The worst is that I didn't even have my baby with me at the time. Finally after he finished they placed the baby on me and I got to just hold him for a little bit. It was amazing to finally look into his eyes and kiss his face. I honestly can't describe the feelings I felt that morning.

Afterwards they took the baby for some tests and things and came to "massage" my uterus. The nurse said "oh, it seems like your bladder is really full so lets have you go the bathroom" it took both nurses and Alex to get me up and into the bathroom. I obviously couldn't go because I was in such pain and things so they had to take me back and put a catheter in me. I don't know if that or the stitches was more painful - seriously! Especially because I was so swollen and they kept accidentally hitting me, OUCH. Finally that was over and I was able to slightly relax some. I ordered breakfast and got to finally eat a meal! And I don't think I have stopped eating since - I have so much room in my stomach now!! Haha. After I ate we were wheeled to the recovery room. I tried to sleep but couldn't stop staring at my baby! Ha. He's the most precious thing I've ever seen!!

The stay in the hospital was okay. I continued to have nurses check up on me to "massage" my uterus and see how I was doing. From my waist down was completely swollen. I was torn from one end to the other - so my body kind of went into shock. I had to get help every time I stood up and could only take a few steps before needed to lay back down. Thank goodness Alex was there every step of the way! We were both so ready to get out of the hospital and get home!

I am continuing to slowly recovery, but I know it will be a long process. My Mom was here for the past week and a half and I don't know what I would have done without her here! We love our little Logan man and are so grateful he's in our life. Every time I feel a lot of pain I just look at him and remember how worth it is was.

So grateful he is finally here! Logan Craig Jacobs. 8 lbs. 4 oz. 21 inches long (they measured him wrong the first time!) born at 9:11am on April 14, 2015. Logan: a name we both love and also the city we met, fell in love, got engaged and lived our first years as newlyweds! Craig: after one of Alex's best friends that was hit and killed by a car when they were in 9th grade. We love how much meaning his name has. <3 We love you more than we could have ever imagined Log! I'm so lucky to be your Mom!

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